Mel walked down the empty street, hoping to exercise that Friday morning, carrying his water bottle with him. It was a nothing kind of day—one of his usual walking days—when, about to refresh himself, he realized the water had turned to blood.
“What the hell,” said Mel.
He was thirsty and upset. But when frogs began jumping into him, then lice and flies took their shots, he was beside himself. To be set upon suddenly by incredible numbers of bullfrogs, head lice, and horse flies was too much.
“Damn,” he cursed as boils covered his body.
What was going on? What kind of exercise was this? Now boils? Should he forget about cardio?
Briefly, he did forget, as hailstones, the size of golf balls, knocked him unconscious. He came to in the midst of locusts. Talk about swarms. Of all vile insects, what could be worse?
Then all went dark.
“What in God’s name?” he called out.
“THIS’S JUST A TEST.” It was a deep voice from the heavens above.
“What?”
“A TEST, MEL. I’VE BEEN OUT OF PRACTICE A WHILE WITH THESE PLAGUES SINCE I USED THEM ON THE OLD PHARAOH. I JUST WANTED TO TEST THEM OUT BEFORE I UNLEASH THEM ON ALL MANKIND.”
Disoriented in the utter darkness, Mel blinked to no purpose. He asked, “But why me?”
“I TOLD YOU, I NEED A TEST CASE, MEL. YOU’RE IT.”
“Me? It?” Mel couldn’t understand. Still, it was a relief not to see locusts. He was used to nothing kind of days. He had no experience with Old Testament kind of days.
“THERE’S NOTHING LIKE A COUPLE OF DEVASTATING PLAGUES TO STRAIGHTEN THINGS OUT.” It could’ve been a voice from out of a whirlwind. “BY THE WAY, MEL. I KIND OF FORGET…WERE YOU A FIRST BORN?”
Grey Sparrow Journal 